Miraculous in a Magical Sort of Way

I am astounded at the ways that scripture changes people and I always want to describe it as "magical". I don't mean magical in a fake, David Copperfield, smoke and tricky way, but magical as in awestruck or overcome with wonder. I think of Ezra when he saw Mickey's castle at Disney World--that was magical for him, and everytime we watch a Disney movie and the castle comes on the screen, he screams, "Mickey's castle" and his face is overcome with the same wonder. That's the way I feel when I see God's word make changes in others or in myself that could not have happened otherwise.

I loved chapter six for this reason. It encouraged me to keep pressing on with our kids, planting scripture deep down whether it seems to be affecting them right now or not. Tim and I were just talking about this last night, in fact, as we were feeling sad about some choices some of our "other kids" (teens from church) are making. We found ourselves getting down, wondering if anything we're doing, with our own kids or our "other kids" is making a difference. When this happens, we always come back to God's promise that His word will not return void. Among other things, of course, our job is to teach them the word and then watch God work His "magic" in their lives. So, we once again resolved to make reading the Bible together a nightly priority rather than the "2-3 times weekly, when we happen to remember" thing it has become.

So, when I read chapter 6 this morning, it was a huge confirmation to me, like God was saying, "You're on the right track. I'll take care of your kids--you just be obedient."

Chapter Five

I find myself reading and rereading the chapters in this book...in the pick up line at school, in the rocking chair during naptime, in the bed at night, and this week, thanks to my wonderful husband, in the massage chair getting a pedicure. He took an afternoon off, I got all three kids in bed for quiet time/nap time and then I headed off with my book. It amazes me how I feel that I need a break and then once I'm gone for ten minutes I am missing the kids and calling to check on them. I love reading about Sally's family and the stories about how she cares for her children. If you want to read more from her, I included a link to her blog in the sidebar.
Several things stood out to me in this chapter. "Often our lives are so overrun with small tasks that we get caught up in checking off the lists of things that need to be done and lose sight of the big picture. From there, we too easily fall into the trap of judging ourselves and our children by external standards of success and cultural priorities rather than by what really matters to God." (p.80-81) For someone who is a list maker/a little ocd/task oriented, this is something I need to remember every day. "I don't just want my kids to be moral. I don't just want them to know all of the biblical rules for behavior. I don't just want them to make it through my home with good grades, no drug addiction and no premarital sex. I want them to leave my home with a hunger and passion to know God personally and to be used by him to accomplish great things for his kingdom. I want them to personally hear God's voice and have his Spirit's gentle touch and impression on their hearts as they read the Scriptures and struggle with the issues of life." (p.80) This is the desire of my heart and I pray each morning will be the focus of my day.
I am seeing my #1 child grow in her relationship with Jesus. She asked Jesus into her heart last fall. Her prayer time is so special and I love to hear her pour out her heart to God. Tonight she read her book "God loves me" to me. This book tells of all of the ways God is faithful and provides for us. I love her precious little voice reading to me...."that is how I know God loves me." She said to me the other night, "Mommy, when I am in my room and my family isn't there with me I am not alone because Jesus is with me. When I go to my room for alone time, I can have alone time with Jesus." Yes my sweet girl....we all need to go to our room for alone time with Jesus.
In the "Something to try" section Sally recommends devotions, prayer, Bible reading with your kids. We have had many different routines with devotional time with the kids through the years. I would really love to hear what you are doing in your family and what you have found that works well for you and your children.

Chapter Four

Okay, so I've mentioned the "turning the corners down" thing that I do when I want to come back to something or something really sticks out to me...well, every corner is turned down in this chapter. I read it again today in the pick up line at preschool and it is so timely for me. The servant mother...that is so where I want to be as a mother, wife, friend, daughter. Yet, I fall short every day. Which is exactly it. I fall short. He never falls short. Sally says in this chapter that we need the Holy Spirit to accomplish this role of servant mother. I must surrender, stop running around tending to the "stuff" of life every day and being so consumed with managing the "stuff" that I miss the huge opportunity and responsibility of winning their hearts in the process. I have waited to post about this chapter because it is hard for me to grasp what all I am learning and all of the ways my heart is changing. This chapter and the things God is showing me about myself and my life have brought me to my knees in tears and repentance. I have gone through times in my walk with Jesus where I am learning things and changing at this manageable pace, when my circumstances are pretty much okay and life is "good." Then there are times like now, when God shows me that big changes are coming and big changes are needed.

Let's read chapters 5 and 6 in the next week, completing part two: A Mother's Heart for Her God

Chapter Three

I have to start this post by thanking you for your posts and comments. I feel so blessed by all of the thoughtful comments and encouragement. I love to read your different insights, advice and things that you are learning. To know that my friends are on this motherhood journey with me and to get a glimpse into your lives and hearts through this blog is very special. I find that so often with friends we chat at the park, play with our kids together, but never really get to the real stuff. Why is that? And like Jennifer said, I too would love to be at Starbucks (in a comfy chair with my venti soy no whip gingerbread latte) in conversation with all of you. But instead I am at the computer in my pjs after finishing the dishes and kitchen clean up before I start a load of laundry while my three precious babies are in bed.

The Undivided heart...oh how I identified with this chapter. The first scenario she presents is about a physician/mother. She talks about the dilemma we are confronted with, not being prepared for the reality of motherhood and feeling torn. Yes, yes and yes. I loved the analogy of randomly throwing seeds to the wind. (p.43) "Someone needs to take responsibility for their nurture, protection, nourishment, intellectual development, manners, recreation, personal needs and spiritual development. Someone needs to commit time and energy into staying close to them as they grow, encouraging and correcting and teaching." I found this to be so affirming for me. I felt like saying, "Yes! That someone is me!"
Then on just the next page she discusses the sacrifices we will need to make. I never knew how selfless of a calling motherhood is. The world is always telling me to look out for myself, put myself first, make sure I am taken care of. They are worried about me when they see me sacrificing for the greater cause of my children and family. I never thought I was a terribly selfish person before I became a wife and mother, but I never had to take care of anyone 24/7 except myself. Motherhood is revealing all of those selfish nooks and crannies in my heart. "In that moment the two conflicted drives of my heart stood out in stark contrast--my commitment to motherhood versus my lurking desire to have life my own way. ...I needed to accept days like this--my children's neediness, the myriad mindless tasks, and even my own occasional discomfort--as part of my partnering with my husband toward our mutual goal of building a godly heritage for Christ." (p.45) Oh...having life my own way...how much energy have I put into orchestrating that throughout my 33 years? And God has shown me that what he has for me is way better than anything I could have even imagined for myself. If I will just surrender, kneel at His feet and trust Him. "We yield our personal rights into his hands. We give up our time and expectations to him--and also our fears and worries about how we will manage. We trust him to take care of us and our family. We let him redirect our thinking and expectations and adjust our dreams. And we wait in faith to see the fruit of our hard labor in the lives of our children, knowing that he will be faithful to honor our commitment to him." (p.54) I have read that quote so many times...I want to remember it throughout the day as I try to keep my eyes on Him.

Sally mentions her symbolic tea cup at the end of this chapter. Do you have symbols like this?
Isn't it great that we are already doing one of Sally's "something to try" suggestions at the end of this chapter by sharing this book together on our blog?
We will begin Part two: A Mother's Heart for Her God by reading chapter four this week.

Busted!!

Before I went to sleep last night, I cracked open chapter 4. It could not have been more timely. By the time I stopped (I didn't even finish the chapter), I was crying. Yesterday, I treated my sweet 7 year old like a distraction the whole day. Oh, there were a couple of moments that I stopped to help him, but I made sure my face showed that I wasn't happy about it. He was asking so nicely...he wasn't being demanding...he hadn't done a thing wrong...and even if he was wrong, he never deserves to be treated that way. I am now 36 weeks pregnant, and there are things around the house that I really want to get done before the baby comes. That's what I was working on yesterday. That's important, isn't it???? Sure, the boys need to know that they're not the center of my universe and that I can't always stop what I'm doing to help them. However, I was so so wrong yesterday. I was so into "me" and "my stuff". Ewwww....I'm getting disgusted with myself just typing this. The more I read of chapter 4, the more guilty I felt. I went into his bedroom and kissed his sweet face. I wanted to wake him up and go through the day again, making different choices. That would never have worked, though--he gets his sound sleeping abilities from both of his parents, and he's really good at it!!! Instead, I waited until this morning at the breakfast table and I said, "I really messed up yesterday." "On what?" he asked. "On you," I replied. He smiled. I said, "I am so sorry I didn't stop to help you with your computer game and I didn't stop to play with you or talk with you." He nonchalantly said, "It's ok, mom." Just like that...he's over it. It's a new day...just like our Father, his mercies for me are new every morning. I'm learning so much from my 7 year old.

On second thought

Hey guys. Well, as you could likely gather from my previous posting this book is bringing out some issues for me. But, they are not the ones I thought would surface. I was talking to Stephen, my husband, about the book and my thoughts and he said something to me that I thought was really true. I think I am so longing for someone to tell me exactly what to do in regards to disciplining my kids that I am looking for Sally Clarkson to answer a question that her book was not written to address. I even misread one of the titles of a chapter: "The Disciplining Mother"....instead of "The Discipling Mother." That should tell you where my mind is. So, please forgive my previous posting with that in mind. I am enjoying the book, talking about it with Stephen, reading all the things y'all have to comment upon and growing as a Godly mom. Hope everyone's Easter was great. I have to say, it was the best Easter I have ever had.

Making my way

Hey guys. I am making my way through the book. I cannot quite put my finger on why I am not feeling so awesome about the book. The discussion in the first section about being whole hearted definitely resonated with me. The part about My God asking me what I had done with the precious lives He has intrusted to me and Stephen was a great, vivid reminder that I have to admit is helping me with the day to day. I have not read much about what I am currently struggling with the most: the implementation of the 'discipline.' I think she had been rather vague about what the means to her. This may not be something anyone else is looking for her to 'outline', but it is my biggest source of struggle.
I have read as my guide (and watched the DVD's) of "Sheparding a Child's Heart" by Ted Tripp. This book spends a great deal of time talking about rich communication between parent and child as a basis for discipline...and discipline that points towards Christ. It goes into great detail as well regarding 'the rod' which I have to say made me cringe at first. After reading the book Stephen and I felt like the things we learned would be very helpful in our home at leading our children to understand their NEED for the cross, and Christ. I suppose the early years are actually more fruitful ground for that discussion than I first thought. There is a lot of talk about mom's being selfish, but I see that bud in my kids as well. What are we to do with that? I am modeling unselfishness, I believe (although imperfectly without question). But unkind behavior, dishonoring talk and disobedience in a child...what are we to do with that? I mostly am hearing to give words to the kiddos. Not just any words...The LIVING WORD. Absolutely. But does the Word suffice in an unrepentent heart? Does modeling alone suffice in a sinful heart? I personally, as a child, and even as a student and young adult, heard the truth - even saw it modeled quite beautifully by those God undoubtedly placed in my path. But I think the PAINFUL CONSEQUENCES of my unGodly choices are what drove me to Jesus. I am not enjoying being the minister of painful consequences to my children. THAT is my struggle.
I certainly struggle with feelings of failure, with being selfish, with not living out my most important priorities and getting bogged down in all the things that one day will BURN, and to those issues I feel I am reading some good insights.
I am actually reading Chapter 6 now. I have to harness my available reading time when I can because I know that there will soon come a time when I am unable to read much at all.
So, I hope these things spark some discussion. I hope that we can all talk openly about discipline. I have found as a mom that it seems to be a little of a touchy subject among some of the mom's I am around. I have found it hard to be able to really talk openly because some don't implement the rod of correction. I will say, for me, that is not a big deal. If you don't and I do, then we can still talk about your discipline struggles. But, honestly this is what is going on with me in regards to the book since it is where a majority of thoughts are focused lately. "Out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks." So what is spoken, both by me and from my toddler, is a manifestation of my heart condition. What can heal my heart? Diagnose it? Highlight the root issue that is prompting the short temper? The Holy Spirit. I need more undivided time with HIM. Desparately.
Love you guys