Our first book in our Book Club was Mission of Motherhood by Sally Clarkson. It is one of the books that secured my calling, my vision for motherhood. I struggled with what I felt God calling me to and how I was to reconcile that with all that was around me. I had read so many books (parenting, discipline, motherhood) that broke my heart for the children....and broke my heart that these books were written under the banner of my Jesus. God gave me a kindred spirit, a like-minded friend, when reading Sally's books. Her love and passion for God, her mission as a mother to reach the hearts of her children, her goal of showing her children who this loving Jesus is through her life as their mother is truly a gift. This past weekend I was able to go to Sally's Mom's Heart Conference. (My first time to ever spend a night away from my children...other than being in the hospital). I was able to go to tea on Friday with Sally and share with her my story and how her books have encouraged and changed me and how God is calling me to share that with other moms. (Truly a gift from God....how often do you get to meet and share with an author your gratitude?) Then, Sally asked me to share at the main conference on Saturday. After I shared, several mothers came to discuss their situations with me, and I was able to pray with many of these women. I cannot put into words in this post all of the ways that God spoke to me throughout the weekend, but suffice it to say...He used the time to refresh my mind and spirit and to refine my heart and my calling. I encourage you...since it has been 3 years since we read the book together...to pick up Mission...find another mom or group of moms....and read the book again together.
Chapter five delves into the areas of my mind and heart that I have wrestled with through the years.
"Does anyone whisper in the dead boy's house, 'God's grace...God's grace'?" (p.85)
"When I realize that it is not God who is in my debt but I who am in His great debt, then doesn't all become gift?" (p.94)
I love the way Ann allows me to wrap my mind around the "ugly beautiful" because when I look back on the years of my life so far, I have many many of those ugly beautiful times. But I am sure that we all have those times....we must have darkness to see light, to appreciate light, and he takes those dark, ugly times and transfigures them. (definition of transfigure: to change so as to glorify or exalt).
"It is suffering that has the realest possibility to bear down and deliver grace." (p.97)
"God is always good and I am always loved." (p.100)
"...take the pain that is given, give thanks for it, and transform it into a joy that fulfills all emptiness....This is the hard eucharisteo. The hard discipline to lean into the ugly and whisper thanks to transfigure it into beauty." (p.100)
I love the imagery of leaning into the ugly...not standing up straight and tall and self sufficient...but leaning into the ugly, the pain...not shouting from the mountaintops in joyous expression "thank you" for this, but the whisper of thanks.
As I am learning through practicing this eucharisteo....I pray that in the ugly I will lean...I will whisper...and He will transfigure.
4 comments:
Gretchen, that is so exciting! How fun is that...how did the tea with Sally come about? I bet you were great, and how wonderful for other moms to hear your story!!! Wow!
With each of her conferences she offered a "Possibilitea" before the main conference for those interested in starting Mom Heart groups and being involved with the ministry. I expected a large presentation type experience for whatever reason. But it was an intimate conversation atmosphere with Sally leading discussions and sharing her vision. There were so many amazing mothers there with many encouraging words and life testimonies. Three of Sally's children spoke at the conference too and were such an inspiration.
G, that is so GREAT!! To meet a mentor face to face... wowsers! I am sure you will take this call and bring a harvest! I am going to start reading her book again since I never finished it... after this book is done (which I adore so much I am going to lead a small group based upon it next Fall). Also, your writing/expression is really special and should be part of whatever you end up doing with your ministry toward other moms.
Melissa...I want to be in your group this fall! You will be such a blessing to your group! I have always loved your insight, your pursuit of truth and wisdom, and your willingness to ask the hard questions and seek Him for answers. I miss you, dear friend!
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