This chapter spoke to my heart in so many ways. I love the truth she described in God's design and could really go on and on about our culture not valuing children and the mothers who devote their lives to them.
"The hard, daily, repetitive work of making a home a haven, providing healthy meals, correcting and training little ones, and constantly cleaning up messes is perceived as menial labor instead of the stuff from which godliness is built." (p.35) I think I have had this attitude at times too though, that what I do over and over and over again doesn't make a difference and it is frustrating to me. But godliness can be built in my children through it all!
At the end of the chapter I must admit I was crying. Crying because I don't want to fail, I don't want to be frustrated at the drop of a hat, and yet I realized it is not up to me. If it was up to me I would fail, I will be frustrated, but our God is faithful, he will make "sense out of the messes we've made of our lives." I have been quite focused on each day, battling failures, trying to do get done what needs to be done and have lost site of the eternal perspective and focus I should always have. When Sally posed the question of facing the Lord at the end of our lives and his asking, 'What did you do with those precious eternal human beings that I entrusted into your hands? Did you sacrifice your own life to give them my life? Did you pass on my purposes? Did you do the work in your children that will result in praise to my name throughout all of eternity?' (p.37) I deeply want to hear Him say, "Well done!" I want my children to know His love and grace and patience through me.
How does this practically happen each day with laundry, messes, time-outs, cooking, teaching etc? For me, I am starting with scripture. I have written several verses that I am committing to memory on cards and I have them everywhere, in the van, in the laundry room, in the kitchen, at my desk, on my nightstand. I want my reflex thought and words to be love and patience and truth and grace. Secondly, I am trying to keep it simple for my children. We are focusing on God wanting us to be kind and gentle. It is amazing the list of "rules" I feel like I was always stressing. I don't want them to just obey rules, I want them to know God and his truth. Focusing on being kind and gentle is "simple" and covers so many things. They are so receptive to this and I don't feel like I am saying, "do this, don't do this" all day.
What practical things do you do in your home and with your children?
Did any particular part of this chapter change you or speak to your heart?
3 comments:
I can't imagine God saying anything else to you besides, "well done". From my perspective, His grace and wisdom oozes out of you to your kids. Keep pressing on...
As for things we've done with our kids, two huge things come to mind. One, we talk through everything, perhaps more than they would like for us to! :) We are constantly explaining why God would want us to make certain choices, or how we (mommy and daddy) messed up--it might be in regards to them or maybe in regards to other life situations. We explain to them what we expect of them before we go into events, situations, etc., and then we often debrief afterwards, asking them if they felt like they made good choices or bad, how they could have chosen differently, etc. We can't take credit for the idea--we got it from my mama--but we can sure see ways it has grown us all to be more like Jesus. It has created some incredible teachable moments for our boys. We start it even before they really understand what we're talking about it, and then it just becomes a normal way of doing life for them.
A second thing is that we really try to make praying a practical thing. Ezra, in particular, is known for asking to pray right in the middle of a temper tantrum. Isaac, on the other hand, would sometimes rather not pray because he knows God might make him obey when he's not wanting to--so funny to see their differences in that. I'm thinking of more details on that, but it's late and I'm tired, so I'll stop for now.
Of course, I've only typed about ways these things have worked for us. You didn't get to hear about the countless times we've tried these and other things and failed miserably. Maybe a post for another day...
I think her discussion of the menial tasks (so they are called) is spot on. Not only is godliness built in our kids when we devote ourselves to the bare bones of what it takes to establish a home...but godliness is built US. I read Sally's later chapter about being attracted, naturally, to the more glamorous calls of God. I know that I have spent countless waking hours and even more unconscious hours thinking that life will begin "when...." (fill in the blank). But life is NOW. My relationship with my kids is NOW. My sowing is NOW. I do not want to miss the NOW thinking about the WHEN and the USED TO BE. You know? So, just in His rewarding me with kiddos, He has begun a process of changing my heart. Seriously, I know I am softer. I know I have more grace for other women/moms/those who wish they could be moms/those who are single moms...So He is forming character in me through motherhood. He is using my failures too. Hear that? He is using my failures. He is using your failures too. He gives us beauty for ashes. Practical example in my own life: the ashes from my own family's failures...Beauty for my kids. Unkept commitments in my childhood sown should have reaped the same in my life. That is the way of the world. But as a born again believer, a new creation, I am not experiencing what I deserve (or what would have naturally come to me without God's supernatural intervention). So much more for my kids, I believe. I will believe God..His completing the good work HE began in me, using my shining moments and my glaring failures. In my weakness, HE is strong.
I love love love your thoughts on beauty from ashes. By God's grace, I grew up in a pretty safe and healthy home with both parents. I had it really good compared to many of my friends. When I see moms who have determined to do life differently for their own kids, I am in awe. I commend you, I applaud you, I thank you on behalf of your kids. I struggle to move past some of the minor hurts I have from growing up, and I can't fathom the courage it takes to really let God have those huge hurts and disappointments and watch Him make something beautiful. You may think I'm out of my mind, but there have been times that I've wished for a more "yucky" past just so I could more easily recognize God's rescuing of me and his grace in my life. I don't know if that even makes sense--just speaking honestly.
Either way, we are both new creations--that's the beauty of God's way of doing things. No matter what our lives have looked like from a worldly perspective, we really all just have "ashes" to offer, and He gives us back beauty. I love that guy!!!!!!!!
By the way, I so hope I have clearly communicated what I'm really thinking. I've typed and re-typed these sentences. I can't seem to express what I'm thinking very well by typing. I so wish we were at Starbucks together so I could just say it, but maybe another day....
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