Chapter One Thoughts

Thank you for your posts.  I love reading about how God is using this book in your lives.  Your thoughts and insight make all that is going through my mind and heart that much more real.  Chapter One was difficult and beautiful at the same time for me.  I must admit that the vision of losing one of my children is probably my biggest fear.  Maybe it is those years of pediatric residency where I saw so much tragedy, disease, death and sadness.  But now that I have my own precious babies, I do fear losing one of them.  I try to give them the freedom they need, but balls rolling across the street, parking lots, my own driveway....all of these make my heart race.  So on one side I have this fear that I won't have one of them tomorrow, but then in the day to day with all that brings (laundry, dishes, numerous diaper changes, spilled milk, correcting attitudes, teaching, etc.), I find myself easily frustrated and at times lacking that deep joy.  Chapter one has shown me that it is okay to feel and ask the hard questions, and gives me a vision for what my heart and focus throughout each day can actually become.